samyazaz: (Samy)
[personal profile] samyazaz
Okay, this just happened and I'm not sure how to feel about it, so I come to the LJ hive mind for clarity.

A self-professed "very heterosexual" woman is extremely uncertain about the thought of having sex with a bi man: is the appropriate reaction here "sigh, latent homophobia (biphobia?), that's unfortunate" or "ah, a rare example of a true zero on the Kinsey scale"?

For further clarification, this came up in the course of a conversation about how we were both so happy that the AMA has recommended the FDA no longer bans gay men from giving blood donations, and from a woman who is enthusiastically supportive of gay marriage. Also, further questioning clarified that it's not an issue of "people attracted to both genders won't be satisfied being monogamous with just one person" bullshit. It's specifically a discomfort with the thought of having sex with a man who has had sex with men before. My gut reaction was "wow, look at your latent homophobia showing itself", but then I wondered if maybe I wasn't being too quick to be judgy. I'm bi and can't see a reason why who a partner has previously slept with should be an issue, so it's hard for me to grok.

Date: 2013-06-23 03:57 pm (UTC)
ext_42362: ohmiya being cannibals (arthur: does not approve of your face)
From: [identity profile]
Opinion: sighhhh, homophobia.

Because the sexuality of your partner should have no impact on your attraction to them, only their gender/sees parts should. If anything a total zero woman should be more wigged out by a straight dude, because ewww secondhand sex with other women.

Maybe there's something else I'm not getting but I really can't think of it.

Date: 2013-06-23 04:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yeahhh, that was much of my thinking, too. That it's "oh, it's okay if gay people have sex with each other but ewwww don't touch me." I was hoping I was being the judgy one, but the more I think about it the more it bothers me.

Sigghhhhh. Mommmmmmm.

And I'm just going to have to sigh to myself about it because there is no way I can bring that up without her getting insanely defensive. I mean, she got defensive in the course of this conversation, when we were talking about how currently the FDA is so biased against gay men that if you've even had sex with a man who's had sex with a man, you can't donate, and she said, "Even if you didn't know!" and I said, "What does that matter?" and she immediately got defensive and accused me of "attacking" her and I was like, "I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE BLOOD DONATING, WHAT DOES IT MATTER IF YOU KNEW OR NOT WHEN IT COMES TO THE BLOOD DONATING, JESUS."

Sigghhhhh. Parents.

*smishes you, because she can, and she misses youuuuu!*


samyazaz: (Default)

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